Josh Sabarra - Author and Producer

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

We sit down with Josh Sabarra, author of Porn Again: A Memoir and Enemies Closer, for a candid chat about Hollywood, coming out, plastic surgery, and staying sane during quarantine.  

This is metro source mini, the official podcast to Metro source magazine and home of short form interviews with your favorite personalities from the lgbtq world and beyond. Quick, Fun and informative. It's metro source on the go, out in proud since one thousand nine hundred and ninety. Well, hello, hello, hello, this is meture for mini. I'm your host, Alexander Rodriguez. Well, you now keep your enemies closed, but your enemy is closer. Well, we have best selling author Josh the Bara, veteran marketing executive and television producer who was help positions of the Walt Disney Company, Warner Brothers, Mira, Max new line cinema and lifetime networks, also from hallmark movies. He resides in la where he's the president and CEO of his own public relations for breaking news pr his first book, Corn Again, a memoir, and his fiction, or is it novel? Enemies closer, are available worldwide. Plays Welcome, Josh the Barra. Hey there, so I just have to say right off the bat like whenever you take stealthies and you have that backdrop, I always assume you're at like a barnes and noble around the world that's actually your house. You have that many books? I do my I think I put Barnes and noble to shame in terms of my inventory up. How many books do you have? Have you ever counted? You know, I haven't. I'm guessing thousands, thousands. I'm a big reader. I'm a big reader. I'm here. Well, okay, your first book, Porn Agandom Memoir. I actually read it in one sitting because you shared everything about your life and you have a lot of kind of like the idiosyncrasies that I had when I was a kid and, you know, coming out late, but you detail a lot of your sexual encounters with celebrities, some name dropping first crushes and even some adult film stars. What have you learned about yourself...

...the most through these sexual encounters, and what have you learned about other people from your sexual and colors? Well, you know, it's interesting. I think that's a great question. You know, there are a lot. There are reasons why all of those stories are in the book and you know I, as you mentioned, I came out late and didn't really have a sexual identity until I was thirty one years old, and so I think there was a little bit of a delayed adolescence. There was a sort of making up for lost time and I think at one time I thought that maybe I could fast forward through all of those things that we do between eighteen and twenty five and sort of get right to, you know, setting up house with somebody, and I didn't realize as that I really needed to still get through that journey and experience those things, and so the stories that I tell in the book are just sort of a way to illustrate how I got how I sort of had to hit fast forward and then rewind and go through the things that I needed to do, make the mistakes that I needed to make, the make the right choices that I needed to make. You know, all of that's in there. You know, it's you know there there are things that ended well and things that ended not so well. So that was sort of the it was sort of to show people the journey. Well, and part of your journey is being part of this entertainment industry. Coming up late now that we're in privacy is and we're talking to like the Leslie Jordan, who was our cover or for our pride issue, and then I talked about being out and proud and he was like, well, that's not always the case. How has been openly gay in the entertainment industry changed over the years, in your opinion, and do you think it is possible to be like a...

...a list in mainstream while being an openly gay after you know, I do think that we have made strides. I think there's still a lot of work to be done, but I do think that people are far more open minded and I have seen that evolution in the period of time that I've been in the entertainment business. Interestingly, for me and my jobs, I didn't really it wasn't really a problem for me because I worked in public relations and marketing, which is typically an area of the business that is pretty open and accepting, and I worked with many gay men a lot of women, so I didn't really come up against anything. You know, I dealt with a lot of sharks and horrible people, but they weren't things that related to my sexuality. I did have a number of those me two moments I you know, where I had people behave with me in a really inappropriate way, but I wasn't. I never had an issue with my job or the way I was treated in a job because of my sexuality, because I think I worked in an area of the business that was sort of already a step ahead in a way. So then, being a victim of that kind of sexual harassment, what kind of feeling, what did you even feel like when you started seeing that the me to movement was actually taking force and there were are people being punished for their behavior and it's kind of shift in how we look at sexuality and in general rules. Well, I think it's yeah, I think it was a really important conversation and, you know, one that is ongoing.

You know this very you know and I was definitely able to empathize and really understand where everybody was coming from, having been in a position to be approached by people, are treated by people in that way at a time when I wasn't out yet. You know, the the things that happened to me happened when I was not yet out of the closet and you know, I talked about them in in my first book, Porn Again, I talked about a couple of those instances and I was already had a sense of shame because that had been drilled into me from the time I was, you know, in preschool, when kids started to notice there was something different about me and would call me names or bullying me, like was sort of drilled into me from that age that there was something wrong with me or that I wasn't as worthwhile as other people because whatever this was that people could perceive about me that was different. And then those, those, then, you know, flash forward to having those incidents occur. It's sort of it's sort of hit that shameful spot for me and sort of pushed me even further away from some from being myself and embracing who I really was, because I felt even more shameful about it. You know, I felt like maybe I had done something to bring it on or I behaved in a way that told people that it was okay to treat me that way. And so I'm I understand why when people have a hard time coming forward, you know that often times it's a feeling of shame and that's how I felt it at those times. Well, you certainly share a lot in your memoir. Also, you know, we're going through quarantine and I've got my quarantine cards. I don't know what I'm going to wear when we can actually like go out, but we're dealing with the talk of body positivity and body issues. You're very open about your body issues,...

...your use of past surgery, and we're supposedly maturing and LGBT community and embracing differences of our sizes and our features, but can you tell us a little bit about your journey through your body issues and how you work through it? Yeah, I mean I had, I definitely had. Had had eating disorders, I because I was bullied so much and marginalized so much growing up, you know, and those were things that were beyond my control. I couldn't I couldn't control how people treated me at school, but I could control what I ate. And when you're young there's not that much that you actually do have agency over, but what you put in your mouth is one of them, and you know, that's why you'll see people sometimes, you'll see younger people like sneaking food or hoarding food. You know, I could control that and I could do it out of sight and it would make me feel better temporarily for that small period of time that the food tasted good. It was an escape and a control. And what would happen is I was starting to put on weight because I was controlling my feelings with food, and then my parents who didn't know why I was eating would say things that true wanted me to be healthy and would say things to me like, Oh, do you need that piece of cake? Do you need those French fries? So I would go to school and get bullied and then sort of come home and even though my parents meant well, I was sort of being bullied about my eating and there was no place that felt safe or comfortable. So I sort of went through stages of being overweight and being anorexic and it's been a, you know, something that I've had to sort of balance my entire life, because that doesn't just disappear when you are conditioned to use food in that way. You know, food becomes a tool and you know, I I still struggle with it. So well, I'm glad you said that because a lot of...

...people think, Oh, you know, I had body issues back then, but it is a struggle and I know from our personal conversations you do keep track of the calories, on the kind of meals and what your peep your chief meals are and things like that. So very important. But also to be you know, there is this sort of focus on appearance and esthetics and I think we need to be more compassionate towards people, because we never know what somebody's going through. Like nobody. Nobody necessarily knows when you've put on weight, that maybe that's something, you know, something that's really hurtful from the past. And when you lose weight and people don't realize, like people will say things like you're so skinny, you know, it can be just as detrimental to you. Like they're two sides to that equation and feeling like you don't look good. You know, it's more, wrongly, it's more socially acceptable to be too skinny that it is to be overweighted, which is something that I've never think skinny or too rich as the thing go. But it's funny because on social media, even on your social media, follow you on Instagram, you know, people will say, Oh God, you know looking good, looking, fin and all that. It's like, well, thank you, but that's that's not the first thing of who I am and they're just trying to be nice. But you know, we're in a scrolling type of environment where it looks good, looks good, looks good right, and I am sensitive. You know, I listened. People don't meet, most people don't mean any harm, and I think it would be great if nobody meant harm. Like there's really no reason to tear anybody down, I but you know, people sometimes are a little thoughtless about the things they say, but sometimes that's because they're not thinking. You know. Again, there's a sort of a sense of compassion we need to have with people, I think, and understand where people might be coming from. You know, we're all dealing with something that nobody knows about. Very true, and especially during quarantine, where we've been isolated and people have had, you know, mental...

...issues because it has been so I wating, and you just never know what's happening behind the smoking mirrors of and instagram profile. Well, exactly. And then there are people like who are you know, making nine million loaves of sour dough and ten million banana breads, and I'm like, what do you want in a plus and Quarantine? Getting back from the same cloth, like we're not cooking, we're postmating. Yeah, I'm like, I'll eat your banana bread, I'm not making any and I only think twenty pictures of it. I'm speaking of spoken mirrors. You have met, hung out with, become friends with every kind of celebrity, and I do literally mean every kind of celebrity, from Zalistering to a listers. What have you learned most about the reality of Hollywood through these relationships? I would say, you know, I would say that I've come across you know, I think friendships with celebrities seem really glamorous and I think there was a period of time where it made me feel better about myself because I was friends with, or seemingly appealing to people who other people thought were special, and so it gave me a sense of self worth. But it's sort of an empty self sense of self worth, because what does that really mean? And you know, I a lot of friendships with celebrities really there's a lot of inequities in them, because they don't they don't necessarily have the time or the resources to be the same kind of friend to you that they expect you to be to them, and that seemed to be the now I'm not again that's a generalization. There are some lovely people who are in the spotlight, but for the most part what I found was that they weren't relationships that were ultimately fulfilling for me and that I was sort of running on a treadmill to be there for those people, but they weren't necessarily there for me in the same way, and so I've sort of, you know, been much more judicious these days about having only people...

...in my life who are really an enhancement. Well, and this is a theme you bring up in your first action novel, enemies closer. There a lot of similarities to actual Hollywood stars, but it's a theme that you do talk about where it's it's the reality and how close of a friend can you have in Hollywood? But I want to ask you, do you think social media and aggressive press has kind of diminished the idea of a Hollywood star? Do you think we know too much about celebrities? Know or you know, should they be brought down to a very level, like what you have for breakfast or, you know, a picture of you and your flips and starbucks, you know, if you have like the old grammer magazines of the past? Yeah, I mean, I don't think there's a right or wrong per se. I think it's how you want to be perceived and I think there are some celebrities who do it really well, who know how to show up at work, do the work, promote the work and then you don't see them or hear from them that it's not constant. Then there are some people who are famous for the sake of being famous, and they're famous because they are putting things on instagram and they're famous because they are putting things on twitter, and I'm not judging either way. It just depends on how you want to be seen and be perceived. But you know, if you look at there are certain celebrities who really get it right and you know they show up and they're there when they have a project that they want to talk about and otherwise they live their lives quietly. There are many people have mastered that well. And then, like I said, there are people who are famous for the sake of being famous, and that's a whole different level of celebrity. So I think it depends on what what you're looking to accomplish, and I'm not saying either one is wrong. I'm just saying it's a different path and I'm just telling everybody you gotta get these two books and you will read through them in one sitting like I didn't. Are you writing a follow up to...

...enemies, Classy, I'm not allowed to talk about it yet. But I am working on a book that's going to be something totally different than you would expect from me. Give me those pages grow. I know we're gonna end our Metros are submitting with a little rapid fire. Are you ready sure? Okay, and actor in Hollywood that you're like, why are they cast in anything? MMM, I don't I don't think I have somebody who I have that strong of feeling about. Okay, all right, that's safe. That's safe, Mr Sabar. I mean there are people who are certainly more exciting than others, but you know, there's a lid for every pot. Somebody likes everything. You know, you also produce hallmark movies. You made a cameo in this last Christmas season. Yeah, with your friend Nipty Grace, by the way. Yet would the title of the hallmarks film be? Regarding your time in quarantine, I guess it would have to be called Christmas and Quarantine. How about you would have been you bet a trademark. That real class is. How would you want to bet? That's going to be with any a Sybrian? and WHO's the girl from Boston space? Oh lacy show yes, Christmas in quarantine. I love it. Oh Strangest PR headline or story that comes to mind from over the years. Oh, strangest pure headline, I don't know, like most shocking. God, I don't I don't know. I mean, I think I was really surprised by the rich is...

...recent, and I don't know why this comes to mind, but the Gwyneth Paltrow Vagina candle absolutely like, just like, but like if she was her team of people and she's like guys, guys, guys. Now it was done with iron man. We've been in need a vagina, we get a candle that just sort of evokee my vagina. A good time. Your worst celebrity meeting? Oh, I would say. I don't I would say in terms of work, wise, I found working on a movie called the insider, about the tobacco industry to be a very difficult to experience, and let's just leave it at that. I'm going to I am DB that one. It was at age twenty one. I'm sorry, what would you say to Josh at Age Twenty One? Buckle up for many reasons. Yeah, that has been Josh Abara from metrospoorts minis. Josh, tell them where they can find you. I'm on Instagram and twitter at Josh Seba, Joshsa BEA R R A, and facebook at Josh Severa, author, and I always love to hear from people, Nice people. So let's go gliding too your DM. What people can just slide into your DM? Yeah, you know what open come on, it's funny cause I would say Sabara because you just want to be fancy, or Fabara. Yeah, it's fun. I don't know why we pronounce it that way, but we do. I don't know.

You know, potato Patada. All right, this summer read is, of course, porn again. I'm Mur and enemies closer. Perfect for the beach, the pool, late nights or reading in the office when you should be working. And one does mentioned that I'm donating all the royalties from the sale of porn again for the month of June for pride to the ACLU. So any porn again, merchandise, book royalties, anything, all going to ACLU. Excellent. Thank you, Josh. Thank you all right. That is our episode. I'm your host and Lee Writing for metal source, Alexander Rodriguez. You can follow me on Instagram at Alexanders on air, you can binge listen to all of our episodes featuring your favorite celebrities from our issues. Until next time, stay true, and do you know? Boo? That has been another metal source mini like share, subscribe on your favorite podcast player and check out the latest issue of Metro Source Magazine on newsstands or online at Metro sourcecom. Follow us on Facebook, instagram at natural source and on twitter at LETRO source man. Until next time, a Fas.

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